La Festa
by Lone Wolfette
Summary: Lauren brings the gang back East to her home town and show them that you can have fun in small towns
1. Chapter 1

**La Festa **

**ONE**   
L&S apartment, Friday afternoon 

Shirely is sitting on the couch, reading Reader's Digest. 

Laverne (coming in the room)- Oh, boy, two whole weeks of paid vacation... (sees Shirley reading) nd you're reading a magazine. 

Shirely- Reader's Digest. 

Laverne- Oh, pardon me. C'mon, Shirl. We gotta think up som'en to do with these two weeks. 

Shirley- I'm perfectly content sitting here and reading. 

The door flies open. 

Lauren (coming in)- Girls! 

Laverne (mockingly)- Lauren! (normal) What's up? 

Lauren- I just got a call from my parents and they're gonna pay for round trip train tickets for all of us to go to North Adams for June Fest! 

{June Fest was formerly known as La Festa, hence the title} 

Shirely- You're kidding? All of us? 

Lauren- Yup, all seven of us! And we leave tomorrow at six a.m., so pack and get to sleep early. (turns to leave) This is gonna be great! (she leaves) 

Shirley (skeptically)- The train, huh. 

Laverne- Com'on, Shirl, atleast this time we know who we're goin' with. 

Shirley- True. Hmm... six in the morning... 

Laverne- We'd better get packing! 

They run into the bedroom. 

  
**TWO**   
the next morning, 5:30am, train station 

Everyone is tired, except Lauren, who loaded up on caffeine. 

Lauren (pacing around; hyper)- I wish that train would get here! I wanna be home and go to June Fest! 

Laverne (leans closer to Kristin)- I've never seen her like this before. Is she okay? 

Kristin- She had a whole six-pack of Pepsi's last night. She oughtta be comin' in for a landing once we get on the train. 

PA System- Train 7A to North Adams, Adams, and Pittsfield now boarding on track two. 

{yeah, I know there're other stops in between Wisconsin and Massachusetts, but how should I know whatthe are/were!?} 

Lauren (starts jumping around)- That's ours! (she grabs her backpack, flings it on her back; picks up her suitcase, then grabs Lenny's jacket and pulls him right out of his seat) 

Lenny (stumbling)- Wait a sec, lemme grab my bag, then ya can drag me to the train. 

The group gathers their things and follow Lauren to the train. The seating is forwards and backwards in sections of five seats. Laverne, Shirley, and Carmine take one side of three seats. Kristin and Squiggy take the two seats going backwards. Lauren and Lenny take the two seats across the aisle. Lauren is sitting in the aisle sit and starts fidgeting in her seat. 

Lenny- Whatsa matter? 

Lauren- I can't get comfortable. (she tries to prop her feet on the seat across from her, but it's too far away... or her legs are too short) 

  
**THREE**   
2 hours later 

The whole group of five have fallen asleep with Shirley resting her head on Carmine's shoulder and his head is resting against hers. Laverne is slumped down in her seat. Kristin is sitting up straight with Squiggy stretched out sing her as a pillow. On the other side of the aisle, Lenny's still awake, but Lauren's Pepsi fit ended and she finally got comfortable, leaning sideways in the seat with her feet propped up on Lenny's legs. he tries to shift in his seat, but wakes up Lauren while trying. 

Lauren (squints at her watch)- Only eight o'clock. geez. 

Lenny- Uh, do ya think maybe you could get your feet off my legs? I think I've lost the feeling in my right leg. 

Lauren (sits normally, then sits Indian style)- Sorry. They never make seats for short people. My feet hardl ever touch the floor. (leans her ead back) I can't wait to get home! 

Lenny- You said your parents sprung for this trip? 

Lauren- Yup! 

Lenny- You gonna introduce us? 

Lauren (tilts her head and looks at him)- In all the excitement, I never thought about that. Yeah, I guess I won't have a choice. My parents are really nice, though. Hopefully, they've forgotten how much of a pain Squig is. 

Lenny- They must've, otherwise they woulda said he couldn't come. 

Lauren- Very true. (pause) I wish they had stuff you could do on these long trips. 

Lenny grins at Lauren and she sees it. 

Lauren (gazes at the five asleep across the aisle)- Well, they're still asleep, (looks at Lenny) what the heck. besides, it might prove impossible to find time to make out once we get into town. 

They start making out 

Across the aisle, Laverne opens one eye and watches them. 

  
**FOUR**   
the next day, about 11:00am, North Adams, heritage State Park {that's where the train station is} 

The group comes out of the station with Lauren leading. 

Lauren (turns to everyone)- Well, since taxis are rather scarce around here, we could walk. It's only about twenty, twenty-five minutes from here. Com'on, I'll take you down Main Street. 

Everyone agrees and follows Lauren down Main Street. 

{Factoid: from here on in street names, business names, etc. belong to no specific time period} 

Lauren- Awe, the old Roberts building. This was sorta a Woolworth's type store. There's a great one a little ways down called Gateway Clothing. 

{sadly, Gateway Clothing is now closed and gone :( } 

They continue down Main Street and turn down Eagle Street. 

Lauren (sniffing the air)- I know that smell and for once it ain't Squig. 

Squiggy makes a face. 

Lauren (looks across the street)- Jack's hotdogs! Awe, we gotta stop and get lunch. 

Lauren talks them all into it, then they all cross the street, and go in, filling up half the seating. 

{small place, great hotdogs!} 

A half an hour later, the group comes out and Lauren leads them down the rest of Eagle Street and cross over to get to Union Street. {past McDonalds... can't ya just smell those french fries!} They continue down Union, then... get to another street {which shall remain nameless because I've already mapped out what we're gonna need of North Adams, so ::razzberry::} They walk up the hill, slowly. 

Lauren- I guess I shoulda warned ya about the hill. 

Laverne- Ya guess!? 

Lauren- Sorry. 

They get to the house and Lauren just stops and stares. After about 30 seconds, (she gets her second wind and) she makes a mad dash up the stairs and rings the doorbell. {one ring, we can't stand it when people lean on it} 

  
**FIVE**   
inside the house, hallway, by the front door 

Dad (looking out the side window)- Maybe we shouldn't have let her bring everyone. 

Mom- We managed to make room for them, the least we could do is let them in. 

{btw, my parents will be referred to as "mom" and "dad"} 

Dad opens the door and sees Lauren, who starts making faces, through the outside door. He unlatches the door and before he gets a chance, Lauren opens it. 

Lauren- I'm here! 

Kristin nudges her arm. 

Lauren (slaps her forehead)- Would ya believe I just forgot they were here, too? 

The whole group goes in the house. 

Squiggy- I remember this place bein' bigger. 

Dad (to Lauren)- Is that who I think it is? 

Lauren- Uh, yeah. 

Dad (to mom)- Hide the breakables. 

Mom- How am I supposed to hide everything? 

Lauren- Time for the grand tour! Upstairs first! (she leads them back down the hallway and up the stairs; she moves out farther in front and goes into what used to be her room) Awe, my room. (looks around) 

Everybody else gathers at the doorway. 

Lenny (picks up the guitar from behind the door {how'd he see that back there?})- I didn't know ya played. 

Lauren- I don't It was my brother's. All I can do is strum and I don't even really do that well. 

Shirley (sees the pile of stuffed animals)- Oh my goodness! (she goes over and starts looking at them) 

Lauren- Well, Shirl, atleast now ya won't hafta think about leaving BooBooKitty at home. 

Laverne slaps the back of Lauren's head. 

Laverne- Don't say that! She'll wanna take one of those home! 

Lauren- Uh, okay, Shirl, you can chat with them later. 

They go back into the hall and Lauren finishes the tour. Downstairs, everybody is told where they're going to sleep--girls upstairs in two rooms, boys downstairs in the living room. {we've got two recliners and a couch... there's another couch in the den, but it has board games piled on it} 

  
**FIVE**   
night 

Almost the whole group is still downstairs. Laverne went to sleep because she didn't have a guy with her. 

Carmine- This is a great house! 

Lauren- Awe, gee, thanks! Not bad for being a hundred and twenty years old. 

Shirley- A hundred and twenty? Wow! 

Lenny- I didn't know houses lived that long. 

Lauren glares at Lenny, who grins at her. Lauren rolls her eyes 

Shirley (yawns)- Oh, goodness, I think I'll be going upstaris now. (she kisses Carmine on the cheek and leaves the room, and goes to the stairs) 

Kristin- That doesn't sound like a bad idea. I think I'm gonna go up, too. See ya in the mornin'. (she gives Squiggy a kiss and leaves the room) 

Lenny- you gonna bail, too? 

Lauren- Naw. (looks at her watch) It's only ten-thirty. 

Carmine- Well, I wouldn't mind gettin' some sleep myself. 

Lauren- Yeah. Um... it's still warm out, we could go sit out on the porch. 

Squiggy- Hangin' around on a porch? Nah. I'm gonna hit the floor here and get me some sleep. 

Lauren- Geez, we got an epidemic goin' here. (looks at Lenny) Well? 

Lenny- Let's go. 

Lauren grabs her keys and stuffs them in her pocket. {just in case} They go out and sit on the porch steps. 

Lauren- I love it when they have fireworks at Noel Field. You can see 'em perfectly from across the street... or my room through the south-side window. 

Lenny bites his palm and makes that sound. 

Lauren (glares at him)- Don't do that. 

Lenny (changing the subject)- What exactly is June Fest, anyway? 

Lauren- Well, I'm not too sure, but they've always got a musical act. I guess they've got a softball game and some other stuff. We should come back again when the carnival's in town. 

Lenny- Boy, you sure do love it here. 

Lauren- Well, this was where I lived until I came out to Milwaukee. I've never lived anywhere else and, truthfully, I don't even know half of the streets names here, but I can get to where I need to go. 

Lenny- When we go back, you ain't gonna stay here, will ya? 

Lauren (looks at Lenny)- What? Where'd that come from? 

Lenny- It's just the way ya talk about this town. It just seemed like maybe ya wouldn't wanna come back with us. 

Lauren- Awe, Len, um... why don't we take a walk up the hil? I'll show ya around some more and we can talk. 

Lenny- Okay. 

Lauren fishes the keys out of her pocket and locks the door. They go down the porch steps, then the cement steps to the sidewalk, and start going up the hill. 

Lauren- I grabbed my keys, but no flashlight. I must be slippin'. 

Lenny- You ain't gonna stay here, are ya? 

Lauren- No, but I think I'm gonna come back here more often. (sees the hurt look on his face) You can come, too. 

Lenny- Really!? 

Lauren- Sure. My parents won't mind. They only mind Squiggy. Oh, I sure hope he ain't sleep walkin'. 

Lenny- I don't think Carmine would like to be woken up by The Duke again. 

They laugh, which is followed by an unasy silence as they keep walking. 

Lenny- Um... did you say they got a music act? 

Lauren- Yeah, but I dunno who. 

Lenny- Do they need an opening act? 

Lauren (stops walking)- How am I s'posed to know?... Wait a minute, here. Are you thinkin' about crashing this? 

Lenny- Couldn't hurt to ask. 

Lauren- True. We'll hafta find whoever's running it and see if maybe you guys can get a few songs in. 

Lenny- Would ya wanna join us? 

Lauren- Me? Len, you know I can't sing. What's the matter with you? 

Lenny- I meant, you could be part of the band. 

Lauren- I get it. You snooped in my room and saw my tambourine and maracus. Well, ya know what? 

Lenny (backs off a little)- What? 

Lauren (smiles)- i'd love to! (pause) But there's no telling if they'd actually let us be part of the Fest. 

Lenny- Like I said, can't hurt to ask. 

Lauren- No, it can't. 

It starts sprinkling. 

Lauren (looks up)- Awe, geez, it was all clear five minutes ago. I guess we'll hafta cut the tour short. 

It starts pouring. 

Lenny- Yeah, guess so. 

They're now soaked. 

Lauren- Ya know, this only happened once before... I stayed out in the rain then, too. 

Lenny- So we get a little drenched. 

They turn back and walk slowly to the house. Lenny puts his arm around Lauren's shoulders and she puts her arm around his waist. {she's short, remember} 


	2. Chapter 2

**Part 2 **

**SEVEN**   
midnight, at the house 

Lauren and Lenny come in and go into the kitchen. 

Lauren- I feel like a sponge. (she grabs the dish tub and puts it on the floor in front of her feet and wrings out the end of her t-shirt) I could probably fill this whole tub with rain water. 

Lenny- If ya don't fill it, I'll help. (he takes his jacket off and wrings it out into the tub, almost filling it to the brim) I didn't know this held so much water. 

Carmine (comes into the doorway)- What's goin' on? Why're ya all wet? (pause) Never mind, I don't really wanna know. 

Lauren- Why're you still awake? 

Carmine- Squiggy's snoring is keeping me up. 

Lenny- Atleast he ain't sleep walkin'. 

Carmine- I'd prefer his sleep walkin' 'cuz then I could do som'en about it. (he turns and leaves the doorway) 

Suddenly, there's the sound of footsteps from the room above the kitchen. 

Lauren- Someone's up. Quick, go into the living room! 

Lenny- What about you? You're s'posed to be upstairs. 

Lauren- I'll plop on one-a the... oh no! My parents won't like wet furniture and we're soaked. 

Lenny- What about the floor? 

Lauren- Uh... oh, just go plop on the floor! 

They sprint into the living room. Lauren turns off all the lights as they go, then turns off the living room light and trips over Lenny, who's already on the floor. 

Lauren (whispering)- That hurt! 

Lenny (whispering)- No kiddin', ya landed on me! 

Lauren- Oh, shoot! (she moves away a couple of feet and lies there staring into the dining room) 

A flashlight beam comes from the hallway, accompanied by Laverne. She shines it right into Lauren's face. 

Laverne (whispering)- What're ya doin' down here? An' why're ya wet? 

Lauren (gets up)- Long story. Are my parents still asleep? 

Laverne- Yeah, why? 

Lauren- Nothin', just wonderin'. (pause) Uh, I gotta go put some dry PJs on. (she leaves the room) 

Laverne (shines the flashlight around and shines into Lenny's face)- Uh huh, you're all wet, too. What'd ya do, go out in the rain? 

Lenny- We were outside before the rain started. She was gonna show me around up the hill, then we got soakes, and came back 

Laverne- I'm sorry I asked. (she turns and leaves) 

  
**EIGHT**   
morning, back yard 

Lauren (sitting on the grass)- I am so lad we got good weather today! 

Laverne- Yeah, 'specially after that down pour last night. 

Lauren glares at her. 

Lenny (comes out the back door with a guitar)- Did ya know this thing is hard to tune? 

Lauren- Yeah, I did. A pair of plyers usually helps. I'll go get a pair. (she gets up and goes in the house) 

Lenny takes her spot on the grass and starts strumming the guitar. It's no where close to being in tune. 

Carmine (making a face)- That sounds even worse than Squiggy's clarinet playing! 

Squiggy (smiling)- Thanks! 

Carmine rolls his eyes. 

Shirley- Why're you going to tune that? It sounds pretty hopeless anyway. 

Lauren (coming out with a pair of plyers)- Because he and Squig are gonna ask the head person of the Fest if they can perform a few songs. 

Kristin- How do you know all that? 

Lenny- 'Cuz she's gonna be part of our band. 

Laverne (laughing)- You're gonna perform? Whada you know about playing music? 

Lauren (sits next to Lenny)- Well, I happen to be a self-taught percussionist, for your information. 

Kristin- Really? You never told me that. 

Lauren- I only play along with records and that's just for fun. I've never done any type of performance in front of a large crowd. (it hits her like a ton of bricks) ...A large crowd? Oh, no! 

Shirley- This doesn't sound promising. 

Lenny- Whatsa matter? 

Lauren (gulps)- Stage fright. I didn't realize it till now that there's gonna be a ton of people there and I just cna't handle that. 

Laverne- Awe, c'mon. There's nothin' to worry about. I doubt they'd letcha perform anyway. 

Shirely (slaps Laverne in the back of her head)- Don't say that! 

Lenny- We won't even be able to ask if I can't tune this. These strings aren't even wound right. (he starts playing with the strings) 

Lauren- I hadta restring it. When I snatched it from my bother's black hole of a room, it only had three ot four strings on it, then one broke on me, so I bought new strings. 

Lenny- Nice shoulder strap on it, here, too. 

Lauren- Yeah, that came from a school bag I had used. 

Kristin- Why don't we just go down there and ask. I'm sure they've got instruments there all ready to be played. 

Lauren shoots her a "why'd you say that?" look. 

Lenny- good, 'cuz I'm gettin' no where fast with this guitar. 

They all get up. Lauren takes the guitar and plyers and puts them in the house. She tells mom and dad they're leaving and they tell her they'll be down there in a few hours. She grabs her keys, leaves the house, and starts leading the group to Noel Field. 

  
**NINE**   
route 8, towards Noel Field, about 25 minutes later 

Lenny and Squiggy have been trying to talk Lauren into performing with them. 

Lauren- I'm sorry, fellas, I just can't get up there in front of all those people. I'm not an outgoing person. 

Lenny- If we get to perform, will ya atleast come back stage? 

Lauren- Yeah, I guess that'd be okay. 

They get to the field. Laverne, Shirley, and Carmine go off to the booths. The others wander around,looking for the person in charge of the music. 

Kristin- I don't see anyone who looks important enough to deal with the music. 

Lauren- Me, neither. 

They turn to find that the boys have run off and are now talking to someone about a hundred feet away. 

Kristin- You think that's actually somebody? 

Lauren- Could be. 

They continue watching the boys. Their conversation concludes and the boys start back with huge smiles on their faces. They get back to the girls. 

Lenny- We get to play one song! 

Lauren- Really!? 

Kristin- That's wonderful! 

Squiggy- Yeah, but what song? 

They all become silent. 

Lauren- "If Only I'd've Listened To Mama". It's got the best tambourine part in it. 

Lenny- I knew you'd change your mind! 

Kristin- Wait a minute. What can I do? 

Lauren- You can go get Laverne, Shirley, and Carmine. 

Kristin- Okay. (she goes off, looking for the others) 

Lauren and the boys go back stage to prepare. 

  
**TEN**   
about an hour later 

Squiggy is peeking out through the side of the stage curtain. He turns back and goes over to Lauren and Lenny. 

Squiggy- There's a huge buncha people out there! 

Lenny- Yeah, and about five minutes to spare. 

Lauren- I dunno if this was such a good idea. 

Squiggy- There she goes again. 

Lenny- What're ya doin'? I thought you were okay with this now? 

Lauren- Well, I was, but now I dunno. 

The MC comes back stage. 

MC- You ready? The band only needs about another five minutes to warm up. 

Lenny- Yeah, we're ready. 

The boys practically drag Lauren out onto the stage. They introduce themsleves as "Lenny & The Squigtones", of course, then Lenny does the worst thing possible--he introduces Lauren. {And you thought it was gonna be something bad... well, that was!} They start playing and everything goes fine. 

  
**ELEVEN**   
backstage, a few minutes later 

The rest of the group comes back stage. 

Laverne- You did a great job! 

Kristin- Everybody loved the song! 

Lauren- If we did so great, then why am I still petrified? 

Shirley- You didn't seem it once you started playing. 

Lauren- Then apparently you weren't close enough to see I had my eyes closed the whole time. 

Lenny- Awe, com'on. Ya did it, anyway. 

Lauren- Yeah. 

Suddenly, Lauren's mom and dad come back stage. 

Mom- There she is! 

Lauren- Oh, geez, I'll never hear the end of this now. 

Dad- You did a great performance, even though you had your eyes closed. 

Lauren- How close were you sitting? 

Mom- Second row, center. 

Lauren- Did you know about this? 

Dad- We heard all of you talking about this earlier this morning. 

Squiggy- An' you was worried about this. 

Lauren- Yeah, I guess I didn't really have to be. 

Mom- We're going home now. So, come when you're ready. 

Lauren- Okay. 

Dad- See you at home. 

They leave. 

Lauren- Let's go find som'en else to do so I can get over all this embarassment. 

They go around to all the booths and have a great afternoon. 

  
**TWELVE**   
late evening 

June Fest has ended. Everything is now being packed up and the field is open to the public. 

Kristin- Whatta great day! 

Shirely- And a tiring one. 

Lauren- Ya wanna go already? 

Laverne- Yeah, we're not used to all the excitement. 

Lauren- Doesn't anyone wanna stay here for a little while? 

Lenny taps her on the shoulder. Lauren turns and he grins at her. 

Lauren- Uh, Squig, you remember the way back, don'tcha? 

Squiggy- Yeah... 

Lauren- Good. Why don't you show them back. We'll be along in a little while. 

The group leaves. 

Lauren- With any luck, it'll take Squig an hour and a half to get them to the house. Now, what exactly were you just grinnin' about? 

Lenny- Awe, c'mon, you set this up. 

Lauren- Well, I only sorta made them leave, that's all. 

Lenny- So, now what? 

Lauren- Go for a little walk around the field? 

Lenny- Let's go! 

  
**THIRTEEN**   
the house, about 40 minutes later 

The group trudges in, even more exhausted from the walk. They go into the living room where mom and dad are. {Uh oh, are you thinkin' maybe som'en's gonna go wrong here?} 

Dad- Where's Lauren? 

Squiggy- Lenny an' her stayed at the field. Well, see ya in the mornin'. (he flops on the couch and falls asleep instantly) 

Kristin (slaps her forehead; quietly)- Oh, Squig, you nit wit! 

Mom- We'd better go down to the field. 

Mom and dad leave. 

Laverne- Doesn't Squig know what not to say in fronta parents? 

Carmine- I'll take a wild guess and say no. 

Shirley- I think this trip has suddenly taken a turn for the worse. 

Squiggy snores. 

Laverne- No, that's worse! 

  
**Fourteen**   
Noel Field, a little while later 

The outfield of the softball field. Quiet place. So quiet you can hear crickets... exactly what Lauren and Lenny are doing, they're listening to the crickets. {Okay, so they're laying on the ground, too, geez} 

Lenny- Well, atleast it ain't rainin' this time. 

Lauren- Yeah, the sky's clear. 

Lenny- So... do ya think you parents like me? 

Lauren- What? Where did that come from? 

Lenny- I dunno. Did ya ever tell 'em we've gone out? 

Lauren- Actually, no, but maybe I should've. 

Mom- That would have been nice. 

Lauren shoots up and turns around. 

Lauren- Mom? Dad? What're you doing here? 

Dad- We were going to ask you the same thing. 

Lauren- Nobody else wanted to stay and hang around. 

Dad (gives her that stern "father is not happy" look)- Certainly you could have come up with something better than that for an excuse. 

Lenny (finally stands up)- But they did wanna leave. They followed Squig. If they wasn't so tired, they would've stayed insteada trusting him to show 'em the way back to the house. 

Mom- He does have a point, there. 

Dad- I guess he does, but I'm still not too happy about this. 

Lenny (nudges Lauren)- Now. 

Lauren ignores him. 

Lenny nudges her again. 

Lauren nudges back. 

Lenny nudges her yet again. 

Lauren (giving up)- Okay, okay. We just wanted a little time to talk... um, we've, um... 

Lenny nudges her one last time. 

Lauren- ...been going out. (to Lenny) Happy now? 

Mom- That expalins why you've been acting unlike yourself. 

Dad- Come on, lets go home. We'll talk about all this again another time. 

Mom and dad go back towards the car. Lauren and Lenny follow. 

Lauren (quietly)- So help me, you ever nudge me that much again... 

Lenny- Sorry 'bout that, but I just wanted ya to tell 'em. Besides, that wasn't that bad. 

Lauren- Yeah, it really wasn't... but remind me to pull Squiggy's hair worm for squealing, okay? 

Lenny- No problem. 

They all get in the car and go home. 


	3. Chapter 3

**Part 3 **

**FIFTEEN**   
next morning 

Lauren walks into the living room and stops. Squiggy is still face down on the couch. Carmine looks comfortable stretched out on the recliner. Lenny's on the other recliner, except he's got his head on the footrest. 

Lauren (looking at Lenny; to herself)-I wonder if Lee ever slept like that? 

{Btw, Lee is my brother} 

Lauren turns and goes into the kitchen. Laverne comes down the stairs and also goes into the kitchen. 

Laverne- So, what happened? 

Lauren- You mean, Squig's squealing on us? Nothing, actually, but I think they're just waiting for the right moment. Atleast I know I won't get grounded. 

Laverne- How come? 

Lauren- I've never been grounded. I'm too much like Shirl. 

Shirley (coming into the kitchen)- I heard that remark. (pauses; changes the subject) So, what's on today's agneda? 

Lauren- I don't know actually. I can't come up with anything. 

Kristin (coming into the kitchen)- Great! So we get to sit around on our butts... or, in some cases, faces all day. 

Lauren- Well, my parents did miss going to Pittsfield this weekend. Maybe we could spend a day at the Berkshire Mall. It'd take me a day to see if I could remember what stores are in there. 

{Btw, the Berkshire Mall was definitely not around in the late 50s/early 60s} 

Shirley- Do they have a movie theater? 

Lauren- Yeah, Hoyt's Cinema. 

Kristin- Let's wake up the guys and get goin'! 

All four girls go into the living room and wake up the guys. After about two hours of arguing about using the only bathroom with a shower, they all pile into the "sport utility" vehicle. {It's a GMC Jimmy... but they weren't around then} 

  
**SIXTEEN**   
about 45 mintues later, at the mall 

Everyone walks into the second main entrance right next to Service Merchandise. {Of course, that store isn't open anymore} 

Laverne- So, where do we start? 

Lauren- Hmm... maybe if we split up into smaller groups, then we can all go wherever. 

Kristin- Sounds good to me! (grabs Squiggy's arm) You're comin' with me. 

They walk away. 

Shirley- Let's go find the pet store. (she pulls Carmine along with her) 

Laverne- Why do I keep endin' up bein' the third wheel? 

Lauren- Well... 

Lenny (steps in between then and puts an arm on each of their shoulders)- Awe, c'mon, Laverne, you ain't a third wheel. 

Laverne- Naw? 

Lenny- Nah, ya just didn't find someone to come along with ya. 

Laverne- Gee, thanks for pointin' that out, Len. 

Lenny- You're welcome! 

Lauren- Why don't we go check out the music store. 

{It's Record Town... there used to be a Tape World, but it merged with Record Town, and the Sam Goody's closed} 

They go over to the music store, go in, and head straight towards the rock'n'roll section. {huge section, think the size of what today's rock & pop section is... Record Town's ain't really that big, though... ::snaps fingers:: Darn} 

Lauren (pulls out a record)- Awe, the Everly Brothers... (she looks at the song list on the back) darn, none of my favorites are on here. 

Laverne- Ya want a sure winner? Come'ere and take a look through the Elvis section. 

Lauren- Elvis?... I'm comin'! (she hurries over to where Laverne is) 

Laverne picks up the record with a picture of "early Elvis" on it and both girls sigh. Lenny is looking through a section on the opposite side and rolls his eyes. 

Laverne- I'd get this, but I've already got these songs... but I'd love just the cover! 

Lauren- Maybe they've got a poster with that picture. 

Laverne- Let's go look! 

They hurry off to the other side of the store. 

Laverne (starts looking through the bin of rolled up posters)- Elvis or Fabian, I don't care which, but if ya find both... oh my heart! 

Lauren- Unfortuantely, I'm not finding any. 

Lenny (comes over and stands next to the bin)- Whadya need a poster of one-a them for? Ya got me! 

Lauren (looks at Laverne; sarcastically)- Quite humble, ain't he? 

Lenny- I thought so. 

Laverne- Are you bored? 

Lenny- Well, yeah. I looked through that whole section over there and found nothin'. 

Lauren- There don't seem to be any good posters in here. Why don't we go to another store? 

Laverne- Oh, alright. Now where? 

  
**SEVENTEEN**   
movie theater {Hoyt's Cinema, actually} 

Kristin and Squiggy are sitting in the last row. They actually don't seem to know there's a movie playing. 

Shirley and Carmine are in the fifth row, feeding each other popcorn. 

Laverne comes through the door and sees that the only people in there are the others. She goes and sits in the front row--"Jailhouse Rock" is the movie. 

Lauren and Lenny come in and sit over in the corner of the theater. 

{Hmm... this scene is gettin' mighty smutty, so let's fast forward a bit, shall we?} 

  
**EIGHTEEN**   
that night, at the house, second main bedroom 

Laverne- I can't believe you missed The King!? 

Shirley- I was a little busy, Laverne. 

Kristin- A little busy? 

Laverne- For some reason, the phrase "tonsil hocky" comes to mind. 

Shirley and Kristin glare at her. 

Lavenre- Oh, please! Like ya didn't enjoy it! 

Kristin- Anyway!... I still can't understand why the three of us gotta cram in here while Lauren gets her room all to herself. 

Shirley- It's probably just that because she's home, she wants it to seem the same as it used to be. 

Lavenre & Kristin- Huh? 

Shirley- She wants things to be the way they used to be. 

  
**NINETEEN**   
Lauren's room 

Lauren (sitting Indian style in her desk chair; whispering)- You're gonna get me in trouble, ya know! 

Lenny (sitting on the floor)- For talkin'? 

{There's no way I'd let him sit on my bed!} 

Lauren- Yes, for talkin' and keep your voice down, will ya?! 

Lenny (whispering)- Sorry... How'd ya manage to get Kristin to stay in the other room? 

Lauren- I just asked. I wanted my room to myself like I used to... You really oughtta get outta here! This is makin' me nervous. 

Lenny- Okay. (he gets up and goes over to the door) 

Lauren (gets up quickly)- Wait! (she goes over to the door) Open it carefully and be quiet out in the hall. They're creeky spots all over the hall. 

Lenny- Thanks for the warnin'. (gives her a kiss on the forehead and leaves quietly) 

Lauren (closes the door after him)- We gotta go back to Milwaukee... my nerves can't handle this. 

  
**TWENTY**   
morning 

Everybody' sitting around the living room, eating breakfast. The phone rings. Dad answers it. 

Dad- Hello? (listens) Yes, they are. (listens) Really? (listens) Yes, I'll tell them. (listens) You're welcome. (he hangs up the receiver and turns to hte group in the living room) 

Lauren- What was that about? 

Dad- Seems as though a Mr. Shotz has cut short Laverne and Shirley's vacation. He wants them there for tomorrow's evening shift. 

Shirley- I hate the evening shift. Most of the workers are completely drunk by that time. 

Laverne- Shirl, we got a day and a half to back to Milwaukee! 

Lauren- Awe, no. 

Dad (to mom)- What time is today's train to Milwaukee leaving? 

Mom (looks up the schedule)- Noon, then the next isn't for three days. 

Shirley- Looks like we better get packin', Laverne. 

Carmine- I'm comin', too. (turns to Kristin and Squiggy)- I'd suggest that you two better come. 

Squiggy- You threatenin' us? 

Carmine- No, if you like being unemployed. 

Kristin- We'll come. Lauren? 

Lauren- What? 

Laverne- You comin, too? 

Lauren- Well... it's only another three days. 

Dad (goes over to Lauren)- The group rate for seven is better than six and one. 

Lauren- I know that, dad, but I was sorta hoping to stay just a little while longer. Besides, what's the cost for five and two? 

Dad- Five and two? 

Lauren- Yeah, two, me and Lenny. 

Lenny starts shaking his head "why'd she say that?". 

Dad- You're going as seven. And I don't want to head anymore about this two thing. 

Laverne- Guess we'd better get packin'. 

The girls go upstairs to pack, while the boys get their things together in the den. Lauren follows her parents into the kitchen. 

Lauren- Okay, it's not that I'm unhappy about leaving, now, that's okay. I had a feeling we wouldn't be staying that long anyway, but I don't like how you treat the relationship between myself and Lenny. Now, I'll admit, I thought I'd be thirty before I even had my first date. Why won't you atleast acknowledge it, ya know, other than having been the SWAT team the night before last? 

Mom- We weren't quite ready. 

Dad- It would have been nice if you'd told us in one of your many letters that on of the friends you were bringing just happened to be of the boyfriend nature. 

Lauren- I know, but I didn't know how to tell you, and, yes, I still remember that you don't like to not know stuff like this, but I never realized this was gonna be a problem until we were already on the train. 

Mom (to dad)- We can't blame her. She didn't really know how to handle telling us that. 

Dad- True, atleast we did know something about him... and everyone else for that matter. 

Lauren- Yeah, um, could I ask you something? 

Dad- What? 

Lauren- Does he pass the parental standards? 

Mom and dad exchange glances. 

Dad- Yes, I never thought I'd say that about the first guy. 

Mom- I do, too. And you can tell him he doesn't have to eavesdrop in the dining room anymore. 

Lauren turns and Lenny steps into the doorway. 

Lenny- I wasn't listening. I was, um... uh... listening. 

Lauren- See, he doesn't lie, either. 

  
**TWENTY-ONE**   
early afternoon, on the train 

The group is a little more spreado ut this time. Kristin and Squiggy are near the front of the car. Laverne, Shirley, and Carmine are near the middle. Lauren and Lenny are near the back. 

Laure in staring out the window. 

Lenny (sitting)- Lauren? (nothing) Lauren? (still nothing; he taps her on the shoulder) Hey, you? 

Lauren (turns to face him)- What? 

Lenny- I just came back. 

Lauren- You left? 

Lenny- Yeah, I went to get some lunch. 

Lauren- We had lunch before we left. 

Lenny- I got hungry. What're ya staring out the window for? 

Lauren (sniffs)- Nothin', just looking. 

Lenny- You been cryin'? 

Lauren- Are my eyes bloodshot? 

Lenny- Yeah, your blue eyes're startin' to look purple. 

Lauren (smiles)- What're ya tryin' to make me laugh for? Who knows how long it'll be before I get to visit again. 

Lenny- I just wanted ya to cheer up. I'm gettin' tired of talkin' to myself. 

Lauren- Stop it, sniffling and laughing is tough to do. 

Lenny- Things didn't go that bad and ya did find out atleast your parents don't hate me. 

Lauren- I know. It's just that, well, they've lost their little girl and I'm really gonna miss that. 

Lenny- So, what? They've still got you, just a different you, and I happen to like this you... (he makes a face at what he just said) Did you understand that cuz I didn't. It's no wonder I don't like talkin' with myself. 

Lauren- Even though you confused yourself, yes, I understood. That was really sweet, thanks. 

Lenny- Maybe I could write for Hallmark. 

Lauren- Don't push it, Len. 

  
THE END :)~ 


End file.
